I received a poem in my email from my niece. It was titled, "I'm Glad I am A Man".
In this, he has , in general, put down everything woman. I'm sorry. I just couldn't let this pass without rebuttal. By the way, not only is God a woman, She has a bitchin' sense of humor. After all, She did create man! I have countered him line for line. I didn't bother about the commode lid up or down. They STILL pee in the floor! So follows my response.
Oh, you are so proud and glad of being quite the man.
You whine and are spiteful when a woman takes a stand.
You never worry about your size.
You gape at skinny girls and bitch about our thighs.
Hell no you don't drink diet coke, my dear.
You stuff your gut with steaks, pizzas and lots of cold beer.
You should be "lifted". I'll loan you a bra.
Your eyes are puffy. You're too saggy in ear and jaw.
It doesn't take you hours to fix your hair.
You wear a baseball cap to cover baldness there!
Putting up with Men's Shit, that's PMS.
We get the silent treatment as you "deal" with your stress.
Intuition?! You're the last out of the gate.
Sharing household duties doesn't count cleaning your plate!
You're a man who thinks he's really slick.
You wear a suit called "Speedo". It doesn't cover dick!
Cry like a baby, oh selfish lover!
Yes, "g-spots" are there waiting to be discovered.
You rush through lovemaking, no thought to her.
Wham! Bam! That eighty second ride doesn't count here, sir.
You say we're crazy but, who starts all war?
Your heroes are those who have the largest kill so far.
So pleased to be a male; you DO mean to gloat.
I programmed it. Before I slap you, share the remote!
There's no way you could play hard to get, man.
You come sidling up to us with your wick in your hand.
You go out at night looking for a chance
Just trying to get into some bitch's underpants.
I know you man with your Y-chromosome.
You love them and leave them. Trust me, they're glad you've gone.
Done right, we're MULTIORGASMIC, and YOU?!
Giver of life, Momma can take you out when SHE's through.
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2 comments:
You did good. I so agree. Reminded of a man I once loved and left because although he was nice to me, he was unable to satisfy and couldn't find anything wrong with that.
Also, thanks for your great comment and apt quote on my site. I am so sorry that another comment of yours was lost somehow in the process of my daughter cleaning up my computer after an ad and spy ware deluge. But she did a great job and I promise never to say anything mean about her again, er, ever.
"You never worry about your size.
You gape at skinny girls and bitch about our thighs.
Hell no you don't drink diet coke, my dear.
You stuff your gut with steaks, pizzas and lots of cold beer.
You should be "lifted". I'll loan you a bra"
How true that is. Thanks for the speedo line. I laughed out loud at that one.
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