FAKING IT

I have two EX husbands who still haven't a clue.
Hey, guys. For years, I was faking it. All along, I thought the word orgasm was made up as regards women, at least.
The first one had the stamina. I will give him that. Babe, if you're going to "Tool Up"; learn to do the service.
Oh, the poor second one. I called him the "Minute Man". 'Nough said.
My first sweaty, ride 'em hard cowgirl, screaming "Oh, God" orgasm came(don't you just love that word?)at the ripe old age of fifty. Now I KNEW. HOLY SHIT. My current walks around a very happy man. But, he is the very one that caused this woman to become multi orgasmic and buddy, let me tell you...nope, best not.
So I have come to the following conclusions:
1. Not all dicks are created equal.
2. Foreplay is not "Wanna' fuck?"
3. That 80 second buzzer has NOTHING to do with making love.
4. I LIKE his mouth ALL over me.
5. Life is too short to keep faking it.